This month’s funniest tweets

 
Good day everybody. Zis is the fifth Countwer (selection of funny tweets in ze language of Shakespeare and Kanye West).

As we did in France with the hashtag #LaRobeEst, our EN fellows did debate about the color of an ugly dress with the hashtag #TheDress

Oh it's my favorite the Blue Ranger pic.twitter.com/GHRNrFkHMw

— Dave Thomason (@dave_thomason) February 27, 2015

I love this picture of @Pontifex in his traditional black & blue pic.twitter.com/expPJ93HPg

— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) February 27, 2015

So first I saw the dress as white and gold, and only that. Now, it's absolutely blue and black. How?!? Does this make me bi-dress-ual?

— Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) February 28, 2015

The color of a dress? Really? That's what you're asking Me? THE OCEAN LEVELS ROSE FOUR INCHES IN TWO YEARS. You know that, right?

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 27, 2015

 

RIP Leonard Nimoy alias Spock

A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP

— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy) February 23, 2015

"Long before being nerdy was cool, there was Leonard Nimoy." —President Obama #LLAP

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 27, 2015

 

Didin’t see the Oscars ? Here is what you missed

https://twitter.com/nazarfar/status/569715520242450432
https://twitter.com/maxsilvestri/status/569709839158419456

"I'm going to kill you, Brendadirk Cramplescrunch." pic.twitter.com/UQ4LUgzozD

— Michael Deppisch (@deppisch) February 23, 2015

for my fellow teens that are confused while watching the #oscars right now, a "movie" is like a 5400 second snapchat story

— tyler oakley (@tyleroakley) February 23, 2015

"Benedict Cumberbatch: the name you get when you ask John Travolta to announce Ben Affleck" –@ActuallyNPH

— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) February 23, 2015

 
There’s more to read in our french selection :

As usual we (almost) finish with a selection in vrac

Things Walking Dead viewers are okay with:
-Gory murder
-Cannibalism
-Child killing

Things they aren't okay with:
-Gay people.

— Keifer? I Hardly Know Her (@DannyVegito) February 24, 2015

THIS IS THE COPS, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP

"No"

WE WON'T ASK AGAIN

"No"

Ok guys, let's go. We can't ask again

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 5, 2015

People, we've found it: the worst "hacker" stock photo on the internet. pic.twitter.com/kI1z7tyJh3

— ͏ (@kludgebox) February 3, 2015

"Ok welcome to ask stupid questions club. Any questions?"
Is this ask stupid questions club?
"You're now the leader of this club"
What club?

— Jersey (@SatansTongue) February 2, 2015

Guys buying their girlfriends tampons pic.twitter.com/UsNc9kVu4W

— Ellen DeGenres (@TheElIIenShow) 27 Février 2015

"in case of emergency we ask you to please literally rip the entire door off the hinges then get the hell out" pic.twitter.com/hXmdebqsxJ

— EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) February 16, 2015

There's a reason it's called love at first sight and not love at first talk.

— Shawn Hatosy (@ShawnHatosy) February 13, 2015

Me: I'm sad, what should I do?
Stomach: I have an idea

— moody monday (@mdob11) February 3, 2015

 

Little bonus (= tweets from before the existence of the Countwer)

https://twitter.com/sweet_pea707/status/444905011173027841

How much for the mirror?

Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue

— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) May 19, 2014

https://twitter.com/_Bad_Karma/status/464697288703877121

Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.

— Ray Stephan (@Ray_stephan) May 27, 2013

*looks up from phone*

"Kids!! we're leaving the playground in 22 percent."

— Abhorrent Housewife (@abhorrent_wife) June 24, 2013

I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane's dog & she was like, "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"

— Røb Fee (@robfee) March 20, 2014

Alfijnbahkfnbsbbakrbbjdnebzk hzueonyvag macarena yrvixndvwhkga ndhwkdbcbe hayvektoubabrjnahor

HEYYYY MACARENA

— Sufficient Charm (@SufficientCharm) February 20, 2014

Is it wrong to eat a Blueberry Muffin that looks just like your dog? pic.twitter.com/QgJnsKvjOF

— Renzo Soprano (@Renzo_Soprano) July 26, 2014

If you liked this selection, you may also like the former ones. You can read them by clicking on the picture :

 

On the Countwer: