[Writing Day 1]
TOLKIEN: I will build a complex fantasy world with multiple species and hundreds of characters.[Writing Day 897]
TOLKIEN: There’s a tree with a beard I named him Treebeard.— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) October 23, 2019
A friend invited me to watch “the game” this weekend and it baffles me that sports people just know what that means.
It feels like if I asked you to watch “The Musical” and just assume you know I mean Mamma Mia.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) September 23, 2022
Pls no spoilers I’ll find out if the queen dies when The Crown finally catches up.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) September 8, 2022
got fired from my job as the guy that draws the chalk outline at crime scenes for, quote, “adding too much detail to the dick area”
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) August 4, 2022
To be fair to Elon Musk, I would also like to buy and ruin the place where people were mean to me. It’s just hard to turn a profit from a 7th grade playground.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 26, 2022
Listen, if we start allowing breaks to slap Oscar presenters, the Oscars are gonna be 9 hours long.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) March 28, 2022
[Text]
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hey, you busy?ME: Nope, still in lockdown. Who’s this?
*Rips off mask*
DUOLINGO OWL: I fucking knew it! Learn Spanish you piece of shit.— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 7, 2020
[tinder first date]
her: oh. I saw your profile picture holding the fish. I just assumed…fish: yeah this happens a lot
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) January 12, 2022
If this happened to me I don’t think I’d be worrying too much about the condom. pic.twitter.com/2wKGm8TGn0
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) January 6, 2022
[Parallel universe where Juliet woke up before Romeo killed himself and now they’re married]
Juliet: *Putting her “JUST NAPPING” sign around her neck* Rome. Romeo. Again, really need you to focus here. I’ll be up in 90 minutes. Look—look at me… Don’t drink any poison.— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) January 1, 2022