6-year-old: I'm so done with them.
Me: Done with who?
6: People.
She's officially an adult.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 3, 2019
6-year-old: It's cold.
Me: I know.
6: But it's the weekend.
Mother nature should check with our schedule.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 26, 2019
Wife: Drive safe.
Me: Don't worry about me.
Wife: I'm worried about the car.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 15, 2019
6-year-old: Do dragons fart fire?
Me: I don't know.
6: I thought you went to college.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 6, 2019