The Countwer | Vol.23
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The best tweets of October 2016
Money money money
People ask why Americans are so friendly. It's simple: if we don't have enough friends to crowdfund for us when we get sick, we'll die
— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) October 1, 2016
Theatre: Poor people entertaining rich people.
Film/TV: Rich people entertaining poor people.
Comics: Poor people entertaining poor people.— Zach Weinersmith (@ZachWeiner) October 1, 2016
When things escalate quickly
https://twitter.com/Sanchovies/status/783892844876537856
4-year-old: The moon is moving!
Me: No, our van is moving
Wife: No, everything is moving in an expanding universe
Don’t marry a scientist
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 18, 2016
When you’re a good boy
When ur human says "who's a good boy" and u already know it's u pic.twitter.com/Iv9mFqAnyB
— meg (@megalot_) October 23, 2016
not all heroes wear capes pic.twitter.com/k4jiQ0igT9
— vibethriller (@vibethriller) October 17, 2016
This is Halloween
just a reminder that the first jack o lanterns were made out of turnips and i think we stopped because they were too fucking scary pic.twitter.com/6XBErN06yl
— hp podcasts (@markpopham) October 31, 2016
Jack White looks like Michael Cera, if he went as Johnny Depp for Halloween. pic.twitter.com/6lOCUAAVqv
— new year better avry (@avryavryavry) October 5, 2016
https://twitter.com/enxxes/status/790995221836402688
To the man who dressed up as his dog's favourite toy for #Halloween. You are my hero. pic.twitter.com/MkaJj7IlHp
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) October 28, 2016
Tbt to Halloween when I dressed as the babadook but my friend's house had more of a grown ups drinking wine vibe pic.twitter.com/PoGKUFeLLw
— Katie Dippold (@katiedippold) June 30, 2016
Tbt to Halloween when I went to my friend's house for a grown ups drinking wine party but there was more of a babadook vibe. pic.twitter.com/I2ROJBHkfB
— david sanchez (@gotham146) October 30, 2016
Galaxy note 7 costume 😭 pic.twitter.com/YQbvY2Jf4v
— CCTV IDIOTS (@cctv_idiots) October 31, 2016
ROASTED
fucking roasted pic.twitter.com/mj6CS0mDz0
— stefan heck (@boring_as_heck) October 30, 2016
https://twitter.com/yepitstrey/status/784201280314937344
Let’s end with some nonsense
Worst. Perfume. Name. Ever. pic.twitter.com/9dSIMx3MWf
— Joe Harland (@TheJoeHarland) October 8, 2016
HILLARY: i told you he'd fuck the chair
TRUMP: *while fucking the chair* I never fucked the chair pic.twitter.com/QACRSry4SG— 현춘이 (@ughHugs) October 10, 2016
If you don't know how Trump still has even 40% of the vote, just remember we as Americans need warning labels telling us not to eat soap.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) October 19, 2016
There was this girl in my class with lettuce on her head and I said "excuse me" and she said "i have a boyfriend" ok lettucehead pic.twitter.com/H0wGufWM6y
— ryan (@ryannb26) October 11, 2016
Netflix has the worst movie selection ever no wonder everyone just starts having sex instead
— Roman (@romanxlv) October 25, 2016
omg deleteee I look so fat do not submit that to national geographic I swear to god randy pic.twitter.com/pWfQJ4wPxw
— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) October 27, 2016
Left my car for maybe 15 minutes in front of the dorms and I come back to this. College man pic.twitter.com/KlDx5BtXLX
— Hunter Jobbins (@jabbins) October 30, 2016
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