The best tweets of August 2015

 

Sometimes, a monkey can express our feelings better than ourselves.

When you're at brunch and everyone agrees to split equally but you only got a salad #Brunchnoir #HSDBrunch pic.twitter.com/Oaps4tFDAU

— CorEy-spondent (@CoreyPTownsend) August 28, 2015

When you lied on your application about being an expert in Excel, and they put you on spreadsheets the first day. pic.twitter.com/srm6yUDoSs

— Tro’juan (@Trojuan_) August 28, 2015

When your paper is due at Midnight and its 11:47 pm: pic.twitter.com/042fOOtinl

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) August 28, 2015

 

Speaking of animals…

my life is like a reverse Air Bud situation in that i would excel at many of the events in a dog show but I'll never be allowed to compete

— Mike F (@mikefossey) August 28, 2015

It’s not really drinking alone if the dog’s home.

— Bill Murray (@BiIIMurray) August 19, 2015

*someone starts having a heart attack*

person: is anyone here a doctor

vegan: im a vegan

— updog (@uptowndogfunk) August 8, 2015

 

Relationships aren’t easy.

i love the term “partners.” are we dating? do we run a legal firm? are we robbing a bank? Who knows.

— yu narukami (@yunacaromi) August 26, 2015

WOW. JUST WOW. THIS BITCH REALLY PULLED OUT THE KRYPTONITE 😑 IM SICK pic.twitter.com/M5R5B1EpO4

— meme (@carterjagz) August 11, 2015

https://twitter.com/MaxCRoser/status/629028922596921344

Bahahahah pic.twitter.com/r5qu2Z60hO

— Imperator Unicorn (@ihmurria) August 10, 2015

https://twitter.com/MenstruaI/status/634157091394056194

Wife: How was your day?

Me: Terrible. No one liked my tweets.

Wife: No, what did you do at work?

Me: I just told you.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 27, 2015

But where can we see the dead ones? pic.twitter.com/8u0RCm1D2U

— Marina Rollman (@marinarollman) August 17, 2015

 

A little bit of American Politics

Oh my god. Republican protests are NEXT LEVEL. I can't stop laughing. pic.twitter.com/AJQMQbFsmw

— Calvin (@calvinstowell) August 11, 2015

Birth control?
BAN IT!
Abortion?
BAN IT!
Gay marriage?
BAN IT!
Guns?
Look, banning things never works. People will find ways to get them.

— Nick Martucci (@BlunderingIdiom) August 4, 2015

 

How about some geeky jokes ? It’s alright if you don’t get them all.2>

Every website, 2015. http://t.co/WTP3uSBBMi /via @sixtus pic.twitter.com/RVeaYyoKXV

— Michael Burgstahler (@twotribes) August 24, 2015

I'll tell you a DNS joke but be advised, it could take up to 24 hours for everyone to get it. #sysadmin #dnsadmin #funny #IT

— The Best Linux Blog In the Unixverse (@nixcraft) August 18, 2015

ENTER PASSWORD.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

RESET PASSWORD.

NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.

sets fire to computer

— Joey Ellis (@joeyellis) August 17, 2015

#90sKidsRemember pic.twitter.com/x2LF5RWIMh

— aloria 🦂 (@aloria) August 20, 2015

 

And some pictures to end this selection.

How you think you look crossing the Alps vs. how you really look crossing the Alps: pic.twitter.com/4UF7StcQS3

— Nick Greene (@NickGreene) August 26, 2015

Fascinating chart showing the strong correlation between the Shanghai Composite Index and a map of Virginia pic.twitter.com/OB48meLC67

— Daniel Lin (@danwlin) August 26, 2015

If Titanic sank in 2015. pic.twitter.com/emOhwOh1Ou

— Sam Kalidi (@samkalidi) August 10, 2015

https://twitter.com/grainedecoco/status/630425671311990784

Apparently someone at the guardian has had enough pic.twitter.com/RhTxlUjZDQ

— sarah m (@sazza_jay) August 6, 2015

"Jafar's dead! He died in the second movie! How can he be in a parade?" // #1033; In which a Parade is questioned pic.twitter.com/Gdw07zVjj4

— Wondermark Comics (@wondermarkfeed) August 11, 2015

.gif pic.twitter.com/0LTY5Re3fp

— Olly Moss (@ollymoss) August 20, 2015

 

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