The best tweets of July 2015

 

Let’s start this month’s selection with Gifs

Women just don't understand the rules of professional sports. pic.twitter.com/oC5d6aQphO

— Hayden Scott-Baron (@docky) July 4, 2015

After years of research & millions of dollars, engineers can accurately replicate two drunk people carrying a sofa pic.twitter.com/fwN4mPKGRc

— Matt Round (@mattround) July 10, 2015

https://twitter.com/Footy_Jokes/status/626336895664959489
 

And now some .jpg

This week in the social construction of gender … pic.twitter.com/FyJpIFZf04

— Brian D. Earp (@briandavidearp) July 3, 2015

so proud of america. only 8 years after electing first black pres, we're considering electing our first orange one pic.twitter.com/U31Rrevx6l

— beeple (@beeple) July 31, 2015

 

This is the parenting section

95% of parenting is just pretending like you know what the fuck you're doing in front of your kids

— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) July 1, 2015

https://twitter.com/tinatbh/status/627880318675120128
https://twitter.com/SamuelHLowe/status/627743233251127296

Mommy! I cleaned my room. Come see!

*walks past big pile of toys and books in the hallway*

"Great job, sweetie!"

— Marl (@Marlebean) July 23, 2015

 

Facing the truth

Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*

— moody monday (@mdob11) July 8, 2015

https://twitter.com/pakalupapito/status/619509164633686020
https://twitter.com/AwesomeZadeh/status/626688040526856192
 

No excuses for not using condoms guys

If a boy ever tells you he's too big for a condom, please send him this pic.twitter.com/SBEjF0p7lW

— hey man it be like that (@DramaticEmily) July 13, 2015

 

Cecil The Lion

People get really fake upset about dead lions they've never met.

— Rock🇺🇸 (@TheMichaelRock) August 1, 2015

Who is also a lion pic.twitter.com/82f4qElvlY

— Andrew Stuart 🐝 (@AndrewStuart) August 1, 2015

 

Coworker

Guess what? Your coworkers complain about how annoying and stupid you are too.

— The Sharona (@TheSharona06) August 1, 2015

There's nothing like a coworker to remind you that you hate how people eat, breathe & exist.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 1, 2015

I see dead people.

Sir, those are your coworkers.

Exactly.

— Busted Flip Flops (@GrillinChillin9) August 1, 2015

 

Movies

What if Ben Affleck’s only pretending to direct a Batman movie in order to get hostages out of Iran?

— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) July 10, 2015

Film idea: An army of zombie lions rise from the dead, hell bent on revenge. Only a band of lightly armed dentists can save humanity.

— Wilde Thingy (@wildethingy) August 1, 2015

 

Random Jokes

The Ashley Madison hack has leaked the personal data of over ten million men and six women (four of whom are men).

— Chris Regan (@ChrisRRegan) July 20, 2015

GRANDPA: I served in WWII, the Korean War and built my own house.

ME: I find I'm often too tired to text people back.

— Michael (@Home_Halfway) August 2, 2015

Dear facebook friends:

One picture of your vacation is enough.

Love,

Everyone

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 2, 2015

https://twitter.com/Sassafrantz/status/627983588806365185
 

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