my friend lives above a restaurant that has a cat for mice-killing purposes, & he let the cat into his apartment enough that now it basically lives there & he lets it out at night to “go to work.” landlord finally called him & was like “do you just want him? we’ll get another”
— trash jones (@jzux) May 13, 2023
SHE SAID YES!! 😍😍😍💍💍💍 i asked my mom if she was disappointed in me!!
— trash jones (@jzux) February 20, 2023
hey boy are you an AI image generator? because you don’t really know what you’re doing with those fingers
— trash jones (@jzux) January 30, 2023
what is your most benign unpopular opinion? i don’t mean like “the earth is flat” type of unpopular opinion, i mean like “I think golden retrievers are annoying” unpopular opinion
— trash jones (@jzux) November 2, 2022
i’m just like my plants honestly. pretty low maintenance but still not thriving
— trash jones (@jzux) September 28, 2022
a crush? you mean Schrodinger’s boyfriend?
— trash jones (@jzux) October 12, 2022
Rorschach isn’t even that good he only does paintings of my ex boyfriend
— trash jones (@jzux) October 10, 2022
drinking a capri sun after sex like i’m smoking a cigarette
— trash jones (@jzux) September 14, 2022
every restaurant should have a little bed you can lie down in if you eat too much
— trash jones (@jzux) August 20, 2022
bringing an apple to my doctor’s appointment. it’s time to finish this
— trash jones (@jzux) August 6, 2022