Sometimes when I fall asleep on my couch my cat will move the curtains and sun falls directly in my face waking me up and I can’t prove it but I know she does it on purpose

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) April 24, 2024

Me to me after one tiny mistake: you useless idiot

Me to my cat who committed 100 crimes in the past hour: my furry little angel, you are perfection my toe bean queen

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 16, 2024

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 7, 2024

My daughter told me she loves to sleep in my tshirts because, and I quote, “they’re so ginormous” so if you need me I’ll be quietly re-thinking my snacking choices

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 29, 2024

Them: what could go wrong?

Me, who has overthought and imagined 56 different horrible scenarios: it’s my time to shine

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 13, 2024

I don’t believe in lying to children… unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 18, 2024

I was making dinner and my daughter came running in and started playing her toy drums because she “knew I wouldn’t want it to be too quiet”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 3, 2024

Everyone has that one friend that helps you get meaner

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 7, 2023

My daughter very gently told me that she would like to be in charge of Christmas decorations this year instead of me because she’d like our house to look better

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 25, 2023

My daughter hasn’t seen the Harry Potter movies so we made plans to watch one together but when the day came my daughter told me I was “too excited” and she wasn’t “ready for all that”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 2, 2023