My daughter very gently told me that she would like to be in charge of Christmas decorations this year instead of me because she’d like our house to look better

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 25, 2023

My daughter hasn’t seen the Harry Potter movies so we made plans to watch one together but when the day came my daughter told me I was “too excited” and she wasn’t “ready for all that”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 2, 2023

If you don’t find someone you’ll end up all alone with the house to yourself and no one to share the bed with and wait this was supposed to be bad

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 28, 2023

My daughter and her friends were sitting around complaining about how dumb boys are so apparently that’s an all-ages thing

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 4, 2023

My daughter wrote a story titled “my mom loves coke” but didn’t clarify it was the soda and now I’m nervous for parent-teacher conferences

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 1, 2023

The more I hear murder victims on shows described as “popular, out-going, and loving life” the safer I feel

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 15, 2023

I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022

As an introvert I should be entitled to worker’s comp when forced to do team building activities

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 20, 2022

I don’t know why parents look surprised when they see alcohol in my cart at the store. Your child is in my class, you know what I’m dealing with here

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 15, 2022