Me at work pretending to be nice pic.twitter.com/VRdnqRV1H1
— Luis Vercetti (@97Vercetti) February 2, 2026
I faked passed out & my 3 year old daughter didn't call 911.., she punched me in my face and yelled "you can't die right now that's ridiculous!" 😭😭😭
— 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙚 (@Arealmfngl) January 31, 2026
this is how sports commentators sound when throwing out the most niche stat you’ve ever heard https://t.co/GS1PiaUN0S
— carm 🙂 (@bubblecarm) February 2, 2026
its actually hilarious that when men approach you in public they assume if you're not taken you're available and want to be with them. like they don't even CONSIDER the possibility of you finding them unattractive or simply not being interested. the confidence is nuts😭😭
— 🦢 (@damnidc__) January 31, 2026
when my boyfriend is having a conversation with his mom in Farsi i reflexively look up if i hear my name or one of the handful of words i know. feel like a dog when it hears someone use “treat” or “walk” in a sentence
— erin (@maizie_star) January 30, 2026
My daughter was surprisingly cut from her last volleyball club after the coaching staff changed.
— C.W. Harris (@cwharris773) January 31, 2026
How did she respond?
She tried out for a higher-level club and earned a spot.
They just played her old team.
They won 25-12, 25-18 and she played great!
She WANTED this match 😂.
My daughter likes to send my wife a voice note on the nights she’s working. Tonight she said “I wish I could come see you at work. But I can’t, because I’m a little child.”
— Philip Bunn (@PhilipDBunn) February 1, 2026
Just overheard my 55 year old dad tell my 58 year old aunt “don't tell mom”. So apparently that's a lifelong thing.
— staxxx🦅 (@papiwontmiss) January 30, 2026
Votre wokisme s'arrête TOUJOURS quand il s'agit de respecter le consentement des enfants, ou juste les respecter tout court d'ailleurs.
— spooky nono cogumelo 🍄 (@lamechefoll) January 31, 2026
Vous êtes pas woke, vous pensez juste à vos propres intérêts.
Pour avoir vu des parents contraindre leur enfants à se faire percer alors qu’ils hurlaient à la mort je trouve ça honteux, je crois que vous vous rendez pas compte on parle de boucles d’oreilles ? Qu’est ce que ça peut vous faire que votre gosse ait les oreilles percées ou non? https://t.co/AqdbHqek0O
— Lina 🍓 (@bylinv) January 31, 2026
