i’m at that age where if you text me at 9:30pm, i’m hitting you back at 6:14am …
— 𖤐 (@vapefuls) December 27, 2025
I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.
— Wow, He’s Tsonga! (@_aboihasnoname) December 29, 2025
My grandmother lived to be 105y/o. When I asked her what her secret was, she deadass was like “God’s punishing me”😭😭.
— staxxx🦅 (@papiwontmiss) December 28, 2025
I was told by the doctor that I can take a shower now that it’s been a couple days after the surgery….
— Sally Amaki/天城サリー(Gintoki/Kuroo/GetoEnthusiast) (@sally_amaki) December 27, 2025
I didn’t know we weren’t supposed to take a shower after the surgery.
I just wasn’t taking a shower by choice🤷🏻♀️
There’s nothing like a good game of Monopoly to bring the family together… pic.twitter.com/ksOJ7Nvl6A
— John Donoghue (@JohnDonoghue64) December 27, 2025
shower is one of the few places in modern society where you are mostly inaccessible to other people https://t.co/RtitXSBTFA
— machine gun kelly reichardt (@LingoUnbound) December 27, 2025
men can't be friends with women without catching feelings,
— Maryam (@hell_line0) December 27, 2025
but somehow they can be in a whole relationship with women without catching feelings.
Cause I paid for the whole apartment. https://t.co/4XfuwkOyjPpic.twitter.com/D9yohoeUo5
— ɴαdι (@luvblessingz) December 27, 2025
books don’t actually count as book, you need to read stone tablets for it to be legitimate https://t.co/L1e1oNW2aZ
— snow-mandi ☃️ ❄️ (@mandibooktwt) December 26, 2025
a book is still a book regardless of the form in which you choose to consume it. you people are dumb. https://t.co/1kmar5hI1v
— mau (@villainsaints) December 27, 2025
