are you fucking kidding me pic.twitter.com/qyTli6599Z
— i like food (@messedupfoods) April 24, 2026
My parents have this little knot hole in their kitchen counter, and my three-year-old uses it to hold important things. 🥹
— Mrs. Gore (@MrsGoresDiary) April 25, 2026
Kills us! pic.twitter.com/ScmsRud1hu
If you think you’ve had a bad day, my 9 year old came home from school with a trumpet.
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) April 23, 2026
Told a guy one time "I hope your daughter date someone like you" And he was pissed. He was PISSED!
— katyakay (@katyakayy) April 23, 2026
Sorry, I’m not free this weekend. On Friday night, I’m busy recovering from the 5 day work week. Saturday is only 45 minutes long, and on Sunday, I’m totally tied up with a series of panic attacks because Monday is literally 30 minutes away.
— 𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 (@OrevaZSN) April 24, 2026
Shooting my husband for being unable to open a jar, like a lamed racehorse
— 🔎Al🔍 (@SweatieAngle) April 26, 2026
my secret talent is having several internal monologues that all disagree with each other
— 𝔙𝔞𝔪𝔭 (@bIoodFr4ak) April 23, 2026
Tous mes rêves ont un rapport avec l'argent mann😭 https://t.co/aamFta7wcl
— Miss Crêpes 🥰 (@unefilleeton) April 28, 2026
Être une hackeuse recherchée par Interpol pour avoir piraté des sites sensibles, qu’on fasse une descente chez moi, qu’on m’arrête dans une cellule hautement sécurisée et qu’un enquêteur me demande comment vous avez fait avant de me proposer une collaboration https://t.co/yttKqXjjHP
— 𝐍𝐨𝐀 (@SheIsOnTwit278) May 1, 2026
mourir pour voir ce que ça fais mais après je reviens en vue https://t.co/hVTtFrGhys
— Mina and the banshees (@N3g4tiv3_Cr33p) April 30, 2026
