Shout out to my 7 yo who came into my office and demanded I stop everything (I was on a virtual meeting) to help her choose a pretty dress because it’s Friday 🤦♂️
— Panagis Galiatsatos, MD, MHS (@panagis21) January 9, 2026
I ordered a v*brator that doesn't work and amazon won't let me request a refund, which they do on purpose bc they think you'll be too embarrassed to call and they can keep your money. so now I'm on the phone with Tyler and only one of us is uncomfortable pic.twitter.com/Vw70dSJejE
— alex turntine (@turntineforwhat) January 8, 2026
People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline… yet somehow they’re running the country.
— Gramps (@GrandpaHarris65) January 10, 2026
Funny how most restaurants are full of male chefs, but at home it's magically a woman's duty… basically when it's an unpaid job, it's for women. when it's profitable suddenly it is a man's passion.
— 🦢 (@damnidc__) January 11, 2026
When a family member over 85 years old is telling you a story for the 28th time, should you say something or play along?
— Miles Commodore (@miles_commodore) January 11, 2026
Guys, if you are over the age of 50, it's time to leave those young girls alone.
— Jum (@JesterJum) January 9, 2026
Go find you a woman who can recognize the signs of a stroke.
my friends husband is in the hospital because he’s had the hiccups for ten days. absolutely insane
— dannica (@dannarebb) January 10, 2026
my friends are so lucky i can’t do a backflip, i would be so fucking annoyinggg
— 𓆩❤︎𓆪 (@mskmalibu) January 10, 2026
when my coworker first met his husband in the 80’s, they had their 23rd birthday together, and he kept the candles because he already knew they’d be together at 32 and he could reuse them. it made me tear up in the bathroom, that’s so sweet that’s so hopeful
— the giant (@chaser_bait) January 11, 2026
Aliens are going to be super confused when they show up to overthrow our leaders and we're all happy and offer to help.
— Gramps (@GrandpaHarris65) January 10, 2026
