Staying with a friend who is bald.
— Jeff Watters (@jeffreywatters) January 17, 2026
A detail that became salient this morning when I hopped in the shower and realized there was no shampoo.
Dear people who can fall asleep easily, I hate you a little bit.
— Kristen (@Kica333) January 16, 2026
on my way to a meetup i initiated when i was in an extraverted mood pic.twitter.com/meMaIf2TOI
— Hadas Weiss (@weiss_hadas) January 15, 2026
asked my cousin to pick up samosas for a dinner i’m hosting. he asked how many people. i said 11. he brought 11 samosas.
— 〰️ (@cachedeposits) January 17, 2026
Guy at work farted in the office so bad that we all cleared out and when we had a meeting about how people need to go outside to fart from here on, absolutely nobody laughed or even smiled. It was a fart so bad it made the entire concept of farts unfunny for all of us
— octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) January 20, 2026
This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me living my best life.
— Stelynn (@Lifeofstelynn) January 15, 2026
i'm gonna get one of these and get my boyfriend one of these so we can pretend i'm in prison when we facetime https://t.co/JacKTQj7wm
— roxy demento (@falseroxy) January 17, 2026
Ce fils de pute a réussi, on ne parle plus des Epstein files depuis 2 semaines.
— Daddy Char𓂆es 🇨🇳🌶️ (@mc_helll) January 21, 2026
on se fait menacer par Trump et Poutine et lui ça fait 3 jours il est sous lunettes il s’est dit att j’appelle Gims pour une photo https://t.co/kpTUdFisCv
— 𝔸𝔹𝕂 (@213abk) January 22, 2026
Dans quelques jours a cause du 49.3 on pourra plus passer son permis avec le cpf mais belles lunettes cela dit 👍🏾 https://t.co/opOi1dYIW3
— 0 (@AUSECOUUUUURS) January 22, 2026
