I know I’m about 100 years behind general society, but I have a dishwasher for the first time in my life, and OMG what a fucking game changer. I’m washing stuff for the lols.
— swannface (@Vix_79) January 17, 2026
Staying with a friend who is bald.
— Jeff Watters (@jeffreywatters) January 17, 2026
A detail that became salient this morning when I hopped in the shower and realized there was no shampoo.
overheard my wife tell our cat to “go find something to do”
— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) January 16, 2026
Dear people who can fall asleep easily, I hate you a little bit.
— Kristen (@Kica333) January 16, 2026
Me leaving my house at 8:07 am hoping I make it to work by 7:30am: pic.twitter.com/lI7HNt8F42
— DammyAyo💕 (@dartgurlie) January 16, 2026
can someone please explain to me how someone gets 8 hours of sleep, 10,000 steps a day, goes to work, maintains good hygiene, cleans their house, exercises, takes care of their animals, and has time for hobbies and socializing? cause i feel like this is also propaganda.
— 🤠 (@heavensbvnny) January 20, 2026
Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom
— Fallon (@filthtofilth) January 19, 2026
It’s 3:30pm. Wife and I just ate dinner.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) January 17, 2026
If we get any older, we’ll have to start eating our meals yesterday.
This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me living my best life.
— Stelynn (@Lifeofstelynn) January 15, 2026
Guy at work farted in the office so bad that we all cleared out and when we had a meeting about how people need to go outside to fart from here on, absolutely nobody laughed or even smiled. It was a fart so bad it made the entire concept of farts unfunny for all of us
— octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) January 20, 2026
