Bowling is funny because I do it once every 2 years while I’m shitfaced and I still roll a few strikes. I shouldn’t be able to do the best move in your sport accidentally.
— 𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 (@MoMohler) May 2, 2026
Some “pro-life” dude said to me “your mom should’ve aborted you” then I said “so you agree that she should have had that choice available to her?”
— jessica 🍉 (@ItsMrsRabbitToU) May 4, 2026
Then he blocked me lol 🤷🏼♀️
ive been informed one of the times i was blackout drunk a dude tried to hit on me and asked if he could buy me a drink to which i replied "i dont drink" before sipping on my moscow mule
— female sheldon cooper ⚢ (@Z33Queen) May 2, 2026
I once shared a cab with a stranger who kept checking the time nervously.
— katyakay (@katyakayy) April 25, 2026
Right before I got off, he said, “If anyone asks, you never saw me.”
Two hours later, his face was on the news.
Please pray for my husband, he got stung by a bee in the forehead. He’s in the hospital now, his face all swollen and bruised.
— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) May 3, 2026
He almost died.
Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.
the Beatles are a band where three guys have the world’s most normal names and one guy has a name you absolutely never hear and somehow he’s not even the main guy
— Michael Guy Bowman (@mguybowman) May 3, 2026
big fan of how they described the measurements here https://t.co/CFwBx1A0L3
— Touya! ★ (@Touyarokii) May 7, 2026
just overheard this guy at the bar tell a girl she had a nice ass and she said
— 𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 (@AbakpaJob) May 4, 2026
"thanks i keep poop in it" lol she's my new hero
My shoulders are too bony for someone to rest their head on. They're like anti-homeless architecture
— Mark (@AgingRanchHand) May 1, 2026
A loan at a bank can take 30 years to pay off, if you rob a bank , you're out in 10 years. Follow me for more financial advice.
— karmakhiz (@karmakhiz01) April 26, 2026
