I am a friend to all cats, even the little mean ones. They have their reasons

— masha (@masha_slp) May 3, 2026

Can’t believe when I was a teenager I actually paid for ringtones, I’d set fire to my phone if it made a noise now

— Cara Lisette (@CaraLisette) May 6, 2026

having an intrusive thought and shaking my head to show the mind readers that I don’t approve

— Kayla (@luv2read13) May 2, 2026

If abortion is illegal because "life begins at conception," then child support should start at conception too, right? Weird how that never comes up

— Maryam (@hell_line0) May 3, 2026

“people you may know"& it's someone i would set on fire

— 22gunner (@Gnar1104) May 1, 2026

I'm begging the internet to stop showing me 5 to 9 morning routines where someone drinks structured water, journals for an hour, and does ice plunges before sunrise. My morning routine is hitting snooze until the fear of homelessness physically drags me out of bed.

— 𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 (@OrevaZSN) May 3, 2026

I would like to be a cat because it must be nice to create chaos and still be everyone's favorite.

— We don't deserve cats 😺 (@catsareblessing) May 3, 2026

i hate when the washing machine is on the scary part

— soup🍓 (@thrluv) May 1, 2026

ain’t nothing more awkward than someone showing you a video and it's not funny😭

— Softboy (@softboywin) April 26, 2026

the Beatles are a band where three guys have the world’s most normal names and one guy has a name you absolutely never hear and somehow he’s not even the main guy

— Michael Guy Bowman (@mguybowman) May 3, 2026