Shoutout to this bar in Minneapolis where a guy checked my ID at the door and then another guy came over to check it again because “that guy doesn’t actually work here”
— Deconstructed Cachapa (@AntiClimaco) August 9, 2026
Me: "i dont need to make a list i’ll remember"
— k (@ysljennii) August 10, 2026
Me at the store: pic.twitter.com/nWRatLYef5
Me going to another city because I couldn't switch lanes pic.twitter.com/2jWFu13pLW
— 𝒩 𝑒 𝒙 (@Nexiraluv) August 9, 2026
Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive
— tt✮⋆ (@Bluebirdeyessss) August 8, 2026
Wearing my pants backwards so i can poop through the zipper
— I eat short people (@UnderwearStain) August 8, 2026
I don’t normally brag about my expensive trips, but we just got back from the vet.
— Wholesome Side of 𝕏 (@itsme_urstruly) August 8, 2026
A traffic reporter caught a car crash while live on air
— Dexerto (@Dexerto) August 7, 2026
"Oh sh-"pic.twitter.com/I8fKOssUPg
I don't get why you can't FaceTime when you call 911, it would literally be instant evidence so you don't have to describe your situation
— 𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ (@muheediva01) August 8, 2026
Waking up to pee will ruin tf outta some good sleep. I see why kids piss in the bed.
— سيدة (@Ajoke__xx) August 7, 2026
The older I get, the more I realize that one of life’s greatest luxuries is having absolutely nothing planned and nobody expecting you anywhere
— Introvert Problems (@IntrovertProbss) August 8, 2026
