Got into an argument with my girlfriend and she locked my glasses😒😒 pic.twitter.com/WKhBbgCPta

— sirhighbreed (@sirhighbreed) April 30, 2026

Normalise calling disinformation by its traditional name:

Lies.

— Neil Stone (@DrNeilStone) April 27, 2026

Please pray for my husband, he got stung by a bee in the forehead. He’s in the hospital now, his face all swollen and bruised.
He almost died.

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.

— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) May 3, 2026

I am lucky enough to have a 4 day work week. My boss doesn't know but that's not important

— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝘀. (@im_all_id) May 1, 2026

being around ur parents is like damn i’m emotionally traumatized but i’m eating so good rn

— COCO (@TWOTIMESABITCH) May 1, 2026

i will also not be attending the met gala this year in solidarity with zendaya btw https://t.co/AOdAnz2NvE

— chefkids (@girlflopping) May 1, 2026

Some “pro-life” dude said to me “your mom should’ve aborted you” then I said “so you agree that she should have had that choice available to her?”

Then he blocked me lol 🤷🏼‍♀️

— jessica 🍉 (@ItsMrsRabbitToU) May 4, 2026

Went to subway just now and asked for honey mustard and the guy was like “is this enough” and i said “yeah perfect” and he said “nothings perfect”. ok

— powerful wizerd (@powerfulwizerd) May 4, 2026

just overheard this guy at the bar tell a girl she had a nice ass and she said
"thanks i keep poop in it" lol she's my new hero

— 𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 (@AbakpaJob) May 4, 2026

My shoulders are too bony for someone to rest their head on. They're like anti-homeless architecture

— Mark (@AgingRanchHand) May 1, 2026