“I don’t believe in climate change.”
— Caitlin Houlbrook (@CHHoulbrook) August 13, 2026
Mate, it’s not a horoscope. The planet doesn’t need your belief to heat up.
Fact: The world’s longest drum solo was 13 hours and 26 minutes. It was performed by a 5 year old little bastard on the back of my seat while flying from London to Singapore.
— Stansaid Airport (@StansaidAirport) August 14, 2026
My girl cousin found a video in her sons phone of him throwing up gang signs , she took his phone & made him take up sign language classes for the whole summer since she said he wanna talk with his hands , that’s my type of carrying on .
— Kaliyah C. (@youngholy_k) August 14, 2026
As an adult you literally have 37 minutes to celebrate a win until you face another inconvenience. 😭
— The Mining Guy. 👷🏾♂️ (@TheMiningGuySA) August 14, 2026
was about to hook up with a guy and after i took off my bra he said “wow one is bigger than the other!” yeah we’re done not happening
— astrid (@cosmickyber) August 16, 2026
accidentally vacuumed up my cat’s toy pic.twitter.com/UuKckDMvby
— mariya (@puppymoth) August 17, 2026
maturing is knowing that you're not mentally stable enough to do acid
— berros (@BerrieMom) August 13, 2026
Just realized 50-year-olds were 25 in the year 2000 and that ruined my whole day
— Allie ✞ (@allie__voss) August 14, 2026
nobody told me as i get older the weather app would become part of my daily routine
— gum (@gumvape) August 13, 2026
Before we got an automatic feeder, Anton the cat figured out that he got fed when one of us closed the laptop at the end of the work day…so he started closing our laptops early when he was hungry https://t.co/8HdevXxb7r
— John Duncan (@Johntheduncan) August 14, 2026
