Opening a German bakery called Gluten Tag.
— Ramin Nasibov (@RaminNasibov) May 11, 2026
There's a weird taboo against lying on the floor, one of life's most pleasurable activities
— 𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 (@AbakpaJob) May 7, 2026
typing in lowercase bc i hate capitalism
— ra is inactive (@xenvuen) May 12, 2026
Social media killed the need for a high school reunion. I already seen your kids faces and yes I'm aware Jay went back to jail
— Lyn🦋 (@_ayandamay) May 8, 2026
*At a family dinner*
— Ayômîde 🧢 (@Haryormdey4u) May 8, 2026
Grandma: Tattoos are only for criminal !!
Me: Diapers are only for babies.
Grandma pic.twitter.com/ULKZt2YUOP
My sister has identical twins
— Illusions and Glow ✨ (@miss__hooper) May 6, 2026
She’s so tired this evening and I’m on the phone with her and one of them is bothering her and she went like “Nathan… or Ethan… or whoever you are…”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I used to think I’d be the cool aunt but I’m just the weird cat one
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) May 8, 2026
It’s actually insane that people used to casually receive a giant book with everyone’s home address and phone number in it. 😭
— marie (@astou_jolie) May 11, 2026
Does anyone else spend the entire modern movie turning the volume up and down because there is zero sound consistency in movies anymore?
— Bella (@BellaBaddie__) May 8, 2026
Being a parent is wild because you could be in the middle of a mental breakdown and still have to pretend to be dinosaur
— 𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ (@muheediva01) May 8, 2026
