Why do employers act like we work for anything other than to get paid? 😭
— ً (@omgsidewalks) August 15, 2026
was about to hook up with a guy and after i took off my bra he said “wow one is bigger than the other!” yeah we’re done not happening
— astrid (@cosmickyber) August 16, 2026
Killing a spider because you’re scared of it is fcking insane when you’re basically a kaiju compared to it. Get a cup, trap the little guy, put him outside. You don’t need to commit murder because an eight-legged creature startled you.
— Amelia (@amelia_tweetz) August 14, 2026
i just read someone say “historically, men never provided for women, they simply restricted women from providing for themselves” and i haven't stopped thinking about it since.
— COCO (@TWOTIMESABITCH) August 13, 2026
Before we got an automatic feeder, Anton the cat figured out that he got fed when one of us closed the laptop at the end of the work day…so he started closing our laptops early when he was hungry https://t.co/8HdevXxb7r
— John Duncan (@Johntheduncan) August 14, 2026
The bag of broccoli in my freezer watching me grab some dino nuggets again pic.twitter.com/VfHDqhI0OU
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) August 14, 2026
I made one bad financial decision in March and I have not recovered.
— Newii (@newi_6th) August 13, 2026
Fact: The world’s longest drum solo was 13 hours and 26 minutes. It was performed by a 5 year old little bastard on the back of my seat while flying from London to Singapore.
— Stansaid Airport (@StansaidAirport) August 14, 2026
everything used to be 20 dollars and now that i finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars
— ً (@artfuIchaos) August 13, 2026
“I don’t believe in climate change.”
— Caitlin Houlbrook (@CHHoulbrook) August 13, 2026
Mate, it’s not a horoscope. The planet doesn’t need your belief to heat up.
