babysitting and the 4 year old asked me why I'm getting married. told her bc i'm in love and I'm gonna make cute babies like her. she straight up looked at my face and said "don't ever bring your gross babies into my nice house." 😭😭
— 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙚 (@Arealmfngl) January 23, 2026
The 4 yo is a really slow eater. Also takes forever getting dressed, picking up, getting buckled in the car, etc. She's slow.
— Louise Lorent 🦬🦬 (@LorentLouise) January 21, 2026
Nevin: "I don't think you know what 'hurry up' means."
4 yo, with undisturbed confidence: "I do. I just can't do it. So… yeah."
why my toddler cried today? she realized she had only 2 feet. she brought me 3 shoes and waited patiently for me to put them on her. no matter how I matched it, every time i was done and she realized one of the shoes wasn’t on her feet, she cried. we were not going anywhere pic.twitter.com/aWIbXt9e72
— Teminator (@duchesskk) January 22, 2026
My kid wanted to play truth or dare, so I dared him to clean the living room and then for my turn he asked if I'd ever eaten chicken in public
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 22, 2026
Tous les soirs, une des 2 filles me rappelle après avoir éteint la lumière, et tous les soirs c'est pour une question à la con.
— avocatmimi (@avocatmimi) January 20, 2026
Ce soir, La 5 ans :
"Maman, c'est quoi une pustule ?"#QuestionDesEnfantsALaCon
« Papaaaaa, j’ai pas de VRAiS pantalons »
— Bertrand Dal Vecchio (@bdalvecchio) January 20, 2026
-C’est quoi un VRAI pantalon ?
-un pantalon qui me va.
-Le bleu, il…
-nooooon.
-ok.
-Et j’ai que des tee shirts de foot !
-Bah…c’est ce que tu achètes..
-ouais, mais elle aime pas le foot.
-Qui n’aime pas le…?
(Porte qui claque) pic.twitter.com/a9qyCphgZF
My son asked if I could pack the same snack in his lunch again and I said, "Oh, wow! So you liked it???" He replied, "No, I hated it, that's why I want it again." It was quiet in the car for a second, then he added, "I'm working on my scarcasm." 🤣🤣
— Kia 🧸ྀི (@xevekiah) January 21, 2026
Je montre un extrait de X-files à mon fils pour me moquer de notre génération.
— More (@Morewais4me_) January 21, 2026
L'extrait :
"Je vais appeler internet et leur demander de me faxer les numéros de téléphone"
Mon fils :
😐
Moi :
🤣🤣🤣
Lui :
Je sais pas ce que c'est de "faxer" pic.twitter.com/ocUakUZ21T
Mon aîné de cinq ans : regardez mon beau dessin, là c’est Papa, Maman, la nounou, moi, [Frère 1], [Frère 2] ☺️
— Marguerite Souchon (@MargueriteScc) January 22, 2026
Moi : c’est magnifique mon chéri, mais qu’est-ce c’est ce trait là sur la figure de tes frères ?
Lui : ça c’est le serpent qui nous parle pic.twitter.com/eT09q9xg7N
Newborns are so funny because they’ll be grunting out LOUD in their sleep for like 30 minutes, then make a massive fart and then sleep so peacefully you have to double check if they’re still alive.
— Andrea D. Huberwoman, Ph.D. (@thegenesisbl0ck) January 20, 2026
