My daughter was surprisingly cut from her last volleyball club after the coaching staff changed.
— C.W. Harris (@cwharris773) January 31, 2026
How did she respond?
She tried out for a higher-level club and earned a spot.
They just played her old team.
They won 25-12, 25-18 and she played great!
She WANTED this match 😂.
Today I woke up in a man’s bed and he was scratching my head and then I immediately threw up and also knocked a full glass of water on his laptop it was probably exactly how my cat feels everyday
— charlotte (@femaleuncle) February 1, 2026
Women who cheat are hated more than men who rape https://t.co/iy4Eml9Cu2
— Yves ౨ৎ (@yvessirae) February 1, 2026
My god, I just realized I'm now closer to 30 than I am to 20 (I'm 36)
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) January 29, 2026
this is how sports commentators sound when throwing out the most niche stat you’ve ever heard https://t.co/GS1PiaUN0S
— carm 🙂 (@bubblecarm) February 2, 2026
my daughter was upset bc i took away her iPad and she was like "ugh! I bet when you were a kid, grandma let you have your iPad!" and I was like…bitch. grandma didn't even let me have my FEELINGS 😂😂
— 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙚 (@Arealmfngl) February 2, 2026
Did you know that if you wear your socks inside out, the entire universe is wearing your socks except you.
— maro (@ProofofMaro) January 27, 2026
Me at work pretending to be nice pic.twitter.com/VRdnqRV1H1
— Luis Vercetti (@97Vercetti) February 2, 2026
my therapist: you tend to pursue damaged people and try to fix them
— Sam (he/him) (@mushycrouton) February 1, 2026
me: that is what you do for a living
my therapist:
me:
my therapist:
me:
my therapist: ok listen here you little shit
Just overheard my 55 year old dad tell my 58 year old aunt “don't tell mom”. So apparently that's a lifelong thing.
— staxxx🦅 (@papiwontmiss) January 30, 2026