My god, I just realized I'm now closer to 30 than I am to 20 (I'm 36)
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) January 29, 2026
Me at work pretending to be nice pic.twitter.com/VRdnqRV1H1
— Luis Vercetti (@97Vercetti) February 2, 2026
“no means no” doesn't only apply to sex. it also applies when your friends say they don’t want to drink anymore, when they say they don’t feel comfortable with affection, when they say they don’t smoke weed. respecting people’s boundaries doesn’t only mean when it comes to sex https://t.co/KgaVjNvZ6y
— Yves ౨ৎ (@yvessirae) January 31, 2026
when my boyfriend is having a conversation with his mom in Farsi i reflexively look up if i hear my name or one of the handful of words i know. feel like a dog when it hears someone use “treat” or “walk” in a sentence
— erin (@maizie_star) January 30, 2026
Today I woke up in a man’s bed and he was scratching my head and then I immediately threw up and also knocked a full glass of water on his laptop it was probably exactly how my cat feels everyday
— charlotte (@femaleuncle) February 1, 2026
one time a man forced me to follow him back on ig or else he’d expose intimate photos i shared with him. two years later and just saw him pop up out of nowhere with a gf. sent her a dm telling her everything he did to me. pic.twitter.com/DbHVNjGQZC
— trin (@lovelltrin) January 31, 2026
Just overheard my 55 year old dad tell my 58 year old aunt “don't tell mom”. So apparently that's a lifelong thing.
— staxxx🦅 (@papiwontmiss) January 30, 2026
this is how sports commentators sound when throwing out the most niche stat you’ve ever heard https://t.co/GS1PiaUN0S
— carm 🙂 (@bubblecarm) February 2, 2026
my therapist: you tend to pursue damaged people and try to fix them
— Sam (he/him) (@mushycrouton) February 1, 2026
me: that is what you do for a living
my therapist:
me:
my therapist:
me:
my therapist: ok listen here you little shit
This is the last time I volunteer for a photo shoot without first asking what it’s for pic.twitter.com/ZXbkyc2xkF
— Dan Carney (@DanManCarney) February 2, 2026
