"you can't control your kids in public"
— 𝓛𝓪𝓾𝓻𝓪 ˚.🎀༘⋆ (@Laura_arma_ni) May 24, 2026
how my mom controlled me in public: pic.twitter.com/iSpiVu406Q
I can't go swimming because it is never more than an hour since I've last eaten.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) May 27, 2026
bryce harper with the most abominable toothpaste application i've ever seen pic.twitter.com/9tIVbyt6pU
— leif✨ (@yanksphiIs) May 25, 2026
The odds are low but they are never zero… https://t.co/ajLoDgBgAn
— Santiago Capital (@SantiagoAuFund) May 27, 2026
I’ve seen this new therapist 4 times and every time we talk about my dog dying. Today I said we were looking for a new dog and she asked if I’ve had a dog before. Should I find a new therapist
— naomi (@lachancenaomi27) May 22, 2026
mind your own fucking business https://t.co/WppIB1A7u9
— giraffe (@neckincrisis) May 26, 2026
Capitalism is so good that it has only existed for 0.00000011% of the Earth's life, yet in that time it has helped push the planet toward a mass extinction event.
— 𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 (@OrevaZSN) May 26, 2026
Never once in my 27 years of living did I even consider this as an option https://t.co/ZSqdGURg2f
— dhwani (@dhwanisaraiya_) May 25, 2026
mind your business bruh https://t.co/EJ6qo1NFqF
— capybara ꕤ (@capyincrisis) May 26, 2026
Just saw a guy and a girl kissing outside the bar and as he walked back to his bicycle she goes, “you promise you’ll break up with her today? You better.” Summer is SO BACK!!!!
— Katja (mercurial)🇨🇭 (@coldgorlfever) May 24, 2026
