Guns don’t kill people, dogs kill people. https://t.co/apRgodJ3lp
— Gerald Morgan Jr (@GmorganJr) May 27, 2026
omgg i went into the office today for a surprise party for my boss, but he was like "you never come in unless there's food or a party so i knew something was up when i saw you this morning" 🗿🗿🗿
— Welonz @ 🦋 (@Welonz) May 25, 2026
do british people still do the accent when nobody's around?
— 𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 (@AbakpaJob) May 22, 2026
Mf was like https://t.co/PtKfLNwXLlpic.twitter.com/N0zNmUfTQ3
— Ichigo Niggasake (@SomaKazima2) May 27, 2026
Reporter: “would you like to change into your uniform first before we take pic-“
— Will (@Matarael) May 24, 2026
Cops in perfect unison: “NOPE” https://t.co/I6ngxaLk5N
she looks like she also just discovered it https://t.co/OGS8GysoTW
— 𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 🏴☠️ (@c0mmandderr) May 24, 2026
Whatever you thought he was gonna do I promise it’s worse https://t.co/fBlO8MPVkE
— IcyVert (@IcyVert) May 25, 2026
when i was a teen my younger sister overheard my mom giving me the sex talk telling me to wait for marriage. my sister then reminded her we were in our parents wedding photos. both parents were silent for two days 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
— mrs. glock 🩵 (@mylovedes_1) May 25, 2026
Law professors reading about this case after struggling for weeks to come up with a final exam question. https://t.co/QsZEwnoXO0pic.twitter.com/5hQPZkK0RD
— Ajit Pai (@AjitPai) May 27, 2026
This might be an insensitive thing to say but why didn’t LEGO Bruce Wayne just rebuild his parents?
— The Green Kasey 🎃 (@RawbertBeef) May 23, 2026
