I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

— Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey (@MonkeysMarch) January 3, 2025

my friend’s kid asked me if i had any games on phone so i let her text my ex.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) January 3, 2025

no one:

my mom in a museum: pic.twitter.com/mwxlc5fESF

— NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) January 5, 2025

i’d rather lose you than an argument

— 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐬🥷🏾 (@lordbrazes) January 5, 2025

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse

— Katie (@ALadyNamedKatie) January 5, 2025

Being at home doing nothing all day is literally my definition of a good day

— 🅲🅷🅴🆁🅸🆂🅷❤‍🔥❤‍🔥❤‍🔥❤‍🔥 (@SpaklingGracias) January 3, 2025

I was told that I look like the kind of person that loves playing tetris and I just don’t know how to take that

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 3, 2025

Introduces myself to your pets as their new step daddy

— Suugah Boogah (@N_Doemostmuted) January 3, 2025

unfortunately i don’t need to be drunk in order to send insane text messages

— audrey (@lolallalskd) January 4, 2025