Didn’t see my boyfriend for like a week and when we sat down to eat at this restaurant he pulls out a bit of paper and said “ I had so much tea to spill that I didn’t want to forget any details” lmaooooo

— 🎮 (@foreeeeeal) August 1, 2026

I am going to reduce my drug use by moving to Drug City with my close personal friend Mr. Drugs https://t.co/uP27nNwHIL

— Y'alldabaoth (@FadedAfRuatha) August 2, 2026

My new colleague “I used to be a police officer. Best job I ever had before they introduced the body cameras”
The way we edged away from this man 🙃

— 🫀 (@_Bukss) August 2, 2026

"men should be grateful that feminism is only seeking justice and not revenge" https://t.co/i2DG46lowk

— Maryam (@hell_line0) August 1, 2026

telling your parent that a video is Al feels like telling a child santa doesn't exist

— 𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 (@AbakpaJob) August 1, 2026

i love that our generation managed to kill the stereotype that if you have tattoos, you won’t be able to find a job.

now nobody can find a job, whether you have tattoos or not.

— COCO (@TWOTIMESABITCH) August 1, 2026

“Women don’t care about men’s mental health.”

Men used to take parts of women’s brains out of their heads for daring to have an opinion.

— Dua (@Duakz5q) August 2, 2026

some dad with his children AT A BAR just told me and my friends to watch our language. AT. A. BAR. maybe don’t…. being ur kids…. to a bar????? idk

— k!✰ (@L0NELY777LUCK) August 5, 2026

I don't know why people are genuinely scared of truth or dare just pick truth and lie.

— Natsmart (@nathehinon_) August 4, 2026

my cat passed away from cancer six years ago and when i miss her i search up my old address on google maps because they still have the image of her waiting patiently to be let back in :') pic.twitter.com/gYEGLkWVW7

— Pengu (@Penguxn) August 4, 2026