Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive
— tt✮⋆ (@Bluebirdeyessss) August 8, 2026
Shoutout to this bar in Minneapolis where a guy checked my ID at the door and then another guy came over to check it again because “that guy doesn’t actually work here”
— Deconstructed Cachapa (@AntiClimaco) August 9, 2026
January: "this year I refuse to overload myself with work"
— Neil Renic (@NC_Renic) August 10, 2026
August: pic.twitter.com/xpmmPwUL6l
Wearing my pants backwards so i can poop through the zipper
— I eat short people (@UnderwearStain) August 8, 2026
I don't get why you can't FaceTime when you call 911, it would literally be instant evidence so you don't have to describe your situation
— 𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ (@muheediva01) August 8, 2026
Me going to another city because I couldn't switch lanes pic.twitter.com/2jWFu13pLW
— 𝒩 𝑒 𝒙 (@Nexiraluv) August 9, 2026
watched a documentary that said if the entire history of earth was condensed into 24 hrs, dinosaurs would show up at 10:45pm, be extinct by 11:30pm, and humans show up 4 seconds before midnight pic.twitter.com/46yEAZu5de
— Ikra (@ikraaria) August 9, 2026
Me: "i dont need to make a list i’ll remember"
— k (@ysljennii) August 10, 2026
Me at the store: pic.twitter.com/nWRatLYef5
i don't believe the whole "we didn't complain, we just worked" thing boomers say cause all i've ever heard them do is complain
— Neet (@neet_sol) August 9, 2026
I don’t normally brag about my expensive trips, but we just got back from the vet.
— Wholesome Side of 𝕏 (@itsme_urstruly) August 8, 2026
