my kangaroo date: admit it, that's the only reason you invited me
me: [trying to sneak a rotisserie chicken into a movie theater] it's not like that

— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) August 8, 2025

normalize ending friendships with no animosity

— angell ᥫ᭡ (@amorangel1) August 8, 2025

“Idk what you want me to say” https://t.co/6inKAp6IJ2

— Jenni (@hashjenni) August 8, 2025

There are eleven types of people in the world: those that understand Roman numerals, and those that don't

— Toby 🇵🇸 (@tobestewart) August 9, 2025

i love being in bed like yeah everything is terrible but at least i’m in bed

— mood (@reidahad) August 8, 2025

I’m in an airport and the guy next to me has been watching videos with NO HEADPHONES. It’s so annoying. I finally took out my phone and started doing the same. But I made sure to slowly increase my volume over his. He looked over at me like he was super annoyed. And then turned…

— Kira (@RealKiraDavis) August 13, 2025

Toute la symbolique d’une île grecque et sa forêt de pins millénaire protégée, brûlée par des millionnaires inconscients faisant la fête, qui ont tiré un feu d’artifice depuis un yacht.

Ces images sont terribles.

pic.twitter.com/nAeIB3znO1

— moonbee  (@BMoon_bee) June 23, 2024

Incendio a bordo de embarcación Da Vinci a 7,3 millas al SW de Punta Gavina (Formentera). CCS Palma moviliza Guardamar Concepción Arenal y Salvamar Naos, que traslada también bomberos. Los 7 tripulantes han sido evacuados por la Naos a tierra en buen estado. El incendio no ha… pic.twitter.com/co0uHoi4gn

— SALVAMENTO MARÍTIMO (@salvamentogob) August 11, 2025

Looks like the orcas have upped their game. https://t.co/JFuGE8dkFz

— Gritty is the Way (@Gritty20202) August 12, 2025