“Mommy🤨Look what I found in your book!”
— BC🕯️🧺 (@BeckyTheChicken) August 12, 2026
It was my bookmark.
Fact: The world’s longest drum solo was 13 hours and 26 minutes. It was performed by a 5 year old little bastard on the back of my seat while flying from London to Singapore.
— Stansaid Airport (@StansaidAirport) August 14, 2026
My girl cousin found a video in her sons phone of him throwing up gang signs , she took his phone & made him take up sign language classes for the whole summer since she said he wanna talk with his hands , that’s my type of carrying on .
— Kaliyah C. (@youngholy_k) August 14, 2026
Before we got an automatic feeder, Anton the cat figured out that he got fed when one of us closed the laptop at the end of the work day…so he started closing our laptops early when he was hungry https://t.co/8HdevXxb7r
— John Duncan (@Johntheduncan) August 14, 2026
Ireland cracks me up. I asked for a box to take home the rest of my breakfast and the server told me, “We don’t do that shit here, fucking eat it.” Finished my plate and tipped generously.
— erin chack (@ErinChack) August 14, 2026
The bag of broccoli in my freezer watching me grab some dino nuggets again pic.twitter.com/VfHDqhI0OU
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) August 14, 2026
I made one bad financial decision in March and I have not recovered.
— Newii (@newi_6th) August 13, 2026
Just realized 50-year-olds were 25 in the year 2000 and that ruined my whole day
— Allie ✞ (@allie__voss) August 14, 2026
Introverts after visiting more than 2 places in a day pic.twitter.com/DpqL09KoBK
— UI/UX (@Ajayfizzy) August 15, 2026
“I don’t believe in climate change.”
— Caitlin Houlbrook (@CHHoulbrook) August 13, 2026
Mate, it’s not a horoscope. The planet doesn’t need your belief to heat up.
