Uber sends notifications like "hey want to take an Uber right now?" No thanks, buddy. It's more for when I need to go somewhere
— Mark (@AgingRanchHand) October 29, 2025
theres no bigger test of patience than typing your fucking email address in on a tv with the remote
— sam🎮 (@sam_niac) October 28, 2025
Just stalked my own instagram archive & forgot I lived all those eras 😭😭😭 Miss you sis. You had so much fun. pic.twitter.com/cg4IbRlDPX
— Drebae (@Drebae_) November 4, 2025
why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit. i use it to search up very obvious questions so there’s no record of me looking dumb
— mara (@vixeias) November 4, 2025
Smoke your weed man. I'm sober and still thought the pipe was Rafiki 😭 https://t.co/ZStElTlMQV
— 𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 🏴☠️ (@c0mmandderr) November 1, 2025
Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.
— Glenn Diagram (@GlennAndTonic) October 31, 2025
Genie : you have 3 wishes
— Ase-Iwara🕷️ (@4seiwara) November 4, 2025
Me : I wish I was always right
Genie : ok, you have 2 more wishes
Me : no I have 3 pic.twitter.com/RDyMO5Vwbk
me applying for love island because i need a place to stay next summer pic.twitter.com/Ly5uTGWa1p
— niya (@waronhugzzz) November 4, 2025
my parents sleep in separate bedrooms but every night they cozy up in my mom’s bed together to read. ❤️ may this type of love find us all. pic.twitter.com/LQdHINURgm
— jo 🦧 (@_th3mcel) November 4, 2025
Où on apprend, sans une once d'étonnement, que les gendarmes prennent du plaisir dans la violence, et se sont engagés pour ça. https://t.co/m2dmCpRcDm
— Camille Stineau (@CamilleStineau) November 6, 2025
