A few years ago I asked my homie to try to talk to my girl to see if she would cheat on me and they been together for 3 years now and have 2 kids💔😭
— Dave (@tufdave) December 13, 2025
so my parents divorce got finalized this morning and the first thing my dad does is change his profile picture to a pic of him and the woman he's been cheating on my mom with for the last 5 years lol
— 🦢 (@damnidc__) December 13, 2025
I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It's been forty years. It should all be out by now.
— Sridhar Ramesh (@RadishHarmers) December 14, 2025
told my boss i was going to the toilet
— 𝕭𝖆𝖇𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖙𝖔𝖓 ✞ (@babingtond01) December 9, 2025
but didn’t say which one, now i’m at home. pic.twitter.com/Jn9odXQiZI
My brain randomly giving me side quests like:
— Champ✨ (@Ib_ra_himm) December 13, 2025
“Don’t blink until that car passes the fifth house.” pic.twitter.com/FCXgrxsxFL
why are they looking at me like that https://t.co/mfR3vwGZwa
— Luke (@qLxke_) December 13, 2025
don’t forget to drink water and get some sunlight because you’re basically a house plant with more complicated emotions
— ໊ (@meishato) December 14, 2025
I was facetiming this girl while I was at the store.. I got in line to pay I said "ima put you in my pocket till I'm done" she like ok. Soon as I put the phone in my pocket this b!tch started screamin "AHHHHH GET ME OUTTA HERE!!! I CANT BREATHE!!! AHHHHH!!!"… BRO 😂
— 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙚 (@Arealmfngl) December 17, 2025
Je déteste la manière dont certains infantilisent les sdf, si je donne de l’argent à un sdf qui fait la manche ça devient son argent, il peut s’acheter de la bouffe, de l’alcool ou de la drogue peu importe je ne suis personne pour lui dire quoi en faire
— Skull Kid (@GWDVL) February 22, 2024
“faut pas donner de l’argent aux sdf prcq ils vont s’acheter de l’alcool avec” mais sale chien j’allais aussi m’acheter de l’alcool avec hyn
— koréenne breizh distinguée (@miauleusedu93) December 9, 2025
