overheard my wife tell our cat to “go find something to do”
— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) January 16, 2026
i'm gonna get one of these and get my boyfriend one of these so we can pretend i'm in prison when we facetime https://t.co/JacKTQj7wm
— roxy demento (@falseroxy) January 17, 2026
My husband texted me to tell me it's all over between us.
— єℓαιηє (@elainesim28) January 18, 2026
Imagine my relief when he sent me a further text, when he explained that he had sent that message to the wrong person!
Called my mom for advice and now we’re just arguing this is insane
— Hustlanani (@hustlanani) January 17, 2026
on my way to a meetup i initiated when i was in an extraverted mood pic.twitter.com/meMaIf2TOI
— Hadas Weiss (@weiss_hadas) January 15, 2026
Staying with a friend who is bald.
— Jeff Watters (@jeffreywatters) January 17, 2026
A detail that became salient this morning when I hopped in the shower and realized there was no shampoo.
Dear people who can fall asleep easily, I hate you a little bit.
— Kristen (@Kica333) January 16, 2026
I know I’m about 100 years behind general society, but I have a dishwasher for the first time in my life, and OMG what a fucking game changer. I’m washing stuff for the lols.
— swannface (@Vix_79) January 17, 2026
can someone please explain to me how someone gets 8 hours of sleep, 10,000 steps a day, goes to work, maintains good hygiene, cleans their house, exercises, takes care of their animals, and has time for hobbies and socializing? cause i feel like this is also propaganda.
— 🤠 (@heavensbvnny) January 20, 2026
en plus d'être une violence inouï (vous l'avez) devinez qui a exclu avec? (les mères ) https://t.co/bHcF68gkEX
— Ebibi (@EbibiGlass) January 22, 2026
