absolutely had a blast on a date w this person who’s chronically offline, i made them laugh sm by paraphrasing the funniest tweets ik by passing them off as my original thoughts
— puru🇵🇸 (@oopspuruagain) December 6, 2025
Just cancelled a date because I wanted to take a nap. I’m so unserious about finding love omg 😭😭
— kate (@yslkiii) December 7, 2025
single for christmas but at least i won't be buying presents for a liar
— jynx (@jynxbby) December 6, 2025
man you really don’t appreciate Not Having Something In Your Eye until you Have Something In Your Eye
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) December 4, 2025
“if i were you” might be the most useless hypothetical. CUS IF YOU WERE ME YOU WOULD DO EXACTLY WHAT I DO. because you’d be me
— ໊ (@sihoorain) December 5, 2025
why are conclusions necessary in essays? were you not following??
— 5. 🌗 (@5iveolld) December 6, 2025
My mother (69 years old) and father (79 years old) just settled their divorce, today.
— BouffantBecky (@bouffantbecky) December 6, 2025
43 minutes on the phone with mother (she called me)
27 minutes on the phone with Daddy (he called me)
Someone give me drugs
pic.twitter.com/J1m2qWpnUc
My niece done told her school we put weed in her food at home that's why she be sleepy 💀😭 YALL ITS PARSLEY My sister going to jail 😭
— 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙚 (@Arealmfngl) December 6, 2025
Women hate men as a system, not as individuals.
— Maryam (@hell_line0) December 6, 2025
Men hate women as people.
That's the issue.
Most women don’t “pick wrong.” They pick someone who looked safe until he wasn’t.
— A 🇦🇪 (@tutututuulip) December 7, 2025
