man in front of me in line buying exclusively heavy duty cleaning supplies and giant trash bags I make joke “haha a little weekend murder cleanup?” he is unamused, pissed even “NO. that’s NOT what this is for.” anyway if I end up dead in a giant trash bag tonight this was why
— dana donnelly (@danadonnelly) March 28, 2026
Whats her problem dude pic.twitter.com/abyLNGNNcj
— ezra (´,,•ω•,,)♡ ACAB🔻 (@swagoloog) March 29, 2026
— 𝓔𝓶 ♡ (@emkenobi) March 28, 2026
When your friend falls asleep on the sofa at 4:30am and your cat guards your room cuz they're not used to someone being out there LOL pic.twitter.com/8KpLID67aF
— Emi Lo 🔜 WeebCon (@KitsuneSqueak) March 28, 2026
my wife waiting for me to open up a video she sent me while we're in the same room pic.twitter.com/ZAXEOV9LGg
— Trophy Husband 🏆 (@Brian_onX) March 28, 2026
my dog is crying bc i put his bone in my tote bag and its like…………..the bone is going in the tote bag because we're going to the DOG BEACH you IDIOT. you don't know ANYTHING. you're about to have the BEST DAY
— buy MORE, PLEASE (out now) (@EmmaSpecter) March 29, 2026
at my great grandpas funeral my mom explained we were going to bury him and my sister asked where the shovels were https://t.co/Cng6m0VRwG
— Xtine (normie in training) (@X_tinek) April 1, 2026
Weirded out by homes with no pets. Like where is your creature
— Soleil (@soleiljolina) March 28, 2026
Saw a thing where people where sharing embarrassing work stories and a girl said when she got her first waitress job, someone ordered champagne and she thought it was standard to shake and spray the bottle at everyone like an F1 driver as that's the only reference she had.
— 5.🪐 (@luvhuss) March 28, 2026
My mom and dad had 7 photos of me between 1971 and 1983, and I have 253 of my dogs from 7:00 to 7:05 this morning.
— Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 (@MikeBales) March 28, 2026
