my old tinder bio was “swipe right to disappoint my parents, swipe left to disappoint yours” and the amount of people who didn’t understand it frightened me
— miller (@millerlowlife89) January 5, 2026
I’m in the library and there’s a boyfriend helping his girlfriend study and I’ve been overhearing parts of their conversation and he just said “Babe, I’m gonna be honest with you, you’re going to fail this test, I love you, but there's nothing we can do about it now” I’m de@d…
— staxxx🦅 (@papiwontmiss) January 3, 2026
My husband is throwing my child (that I carried for 41 weeks and 3 days) up in the air till she almost hits the ceiling, and that one is laughing like she has a spare life somewhere.
— Unstoppable Bela (@owojeloche) January 4, 2026
teach your kids that cooking and cleaning are basic life skills. not gender roles https://t.co/YFDdQIgEQP
— ✧ (@cessonmute) January 4, 2026
I hate how your family stops giving you money on your birthday as you get old. like i need it more now than i did when i was 7, susan i'm starving https://t.co/ynoh0U5Azx
— Yves ౨ৎ (@yvessirae) January 4, 2026
unpopular opinion but loosing a pet can be just as hard as losing human being. https://t.co/MyjVyNrf1F
— IVY (@Iamivy05) January 3, 2026
begging for money https://t.co/Ybk0XdkeY9
— Berry ⏾ (@SpicyBerry) January 5, 2026
The 1st one I see. https://t.co/MPGFnwUMwdpic.twitter.com/atEjbIsovF
— LV ✮ (@levirelates) January 3, 2026
A barber on my street was arrested this morning for selling weed. Funny enough, I’ve been his customer for 4 years now, and I never knew he was a barber.
— Duke of Africa (@Allezamani) January 3, 2026
gym was empty today. glad we starting the year off with honesty
— 𝓚ᩚ (@mskmalibu) January 3, 2026
