My wife was watching TV and screamed out, don't go in the church you stupid bitch.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) April 3, 2026
I said damn, what are you watching????
She said….our wedding video
My mom told me that when I was teething as a toddler I would act like I wanted to give people a kiss on the cheek and then just bite them really hard. Beasted on
— 🍃 (@cardamomkiss) April 4, 2026
this woman I saw at the airport looks exactly like my deodorant pic.twitter.com/e2MIAnnGM9
— s ⚢ (@nooneknovvs) April 5, 2026
NEVER let your printer know you’ve waited until the last minute and you’re in a hurry, because it can sense fear.
— ً (@omgsidewalks) April 4, 2026
His legs won’t hurt, mine will. https://t.co/DvHVBoKGGF
— JEFFREY is on Fanatix (@Jeff_Okhai) April 7, 2026
they’re grilling this irishman like a rotisserie chicken somebody get him on that spf 50 pa++++ asap https://t.co/MoBFcpknaI
— wilmiina (@minnieshelbys) April 8, 2026
whenever my mom asks me how much i paid for something, i reduce the price by 50% of the actual price
— 𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 (@AbakpaJob) April 8, 2026
I’ve never understood why some parents expect you to let their kid cut you in the bathroom line “but my daughter really has to go” bitch this chick is 7 years old if she pees her pants literally no one will care if I pee my pants I’m getting sent to rehab
— dana donnelly (@danadonnelly) April 9, 2026
11 year old me after the teacher said the ozone layer is getting destroyed daily pic.twitter.com/wizGZw2h4p
— Stunnar (@ambrooky__) April 8, 2026
En une journée, on découvre que Marine Le Pen dîne avec Bernard Arnault et d’autres milliardaires, pendant que Bardella gravit les cercles de l’aristocratie fiscalement exilée.
— Duval Philippe (@p_duval) April 9, 2026
Le plus choquant ? Des électeurs continuent de croire qu’un bulletin de vote changera leur quotidien pic.twitter.com/rVBMuBBBdz
