MY FATHER WAS JUST PASSING BY A GRAVEYARD ON HIS DAILY WALK AND WAS BORED SO HE WANTED ME TO KEEP HIM COMPANY… what a legend, i love my dad 2/2
— sayang | katya (@sayangdota) April 12, 2026
How your dad looks at you when you tell him you don't know his Gmail password pic.twitter.com/iYZes5iciN
— Champ✨ (@Ib_ra_himm) April 15, 2026
why are threesomes only for sex why cant i join in a couples argument if i want to
— caleb 🏹 (@saintplush) April 10, 2026
MY BOYFRIEND TOLD ME TO GUESS HOW MANY TABS HE HAS OPEN AND WHEN I GUESSED WRONG HE SENT ME THIS. 11,713 TABS??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? pic.twitter.com/uml832IZlm
— 🚪 RITA .ᐟ ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ♡ ₊˚⋆ (@ANGELICFANGZ) April 15, 2026
Went to lie down for 20 minutes, woke up 3 HOURS LATER. Said “why didn’t you wake me?!” He said he sent 3yo in with a xylophone and I slept through it so I must have needed it
— Lady Nimby (@LadyNimby) April 11, 2026
I sent my husband to the store, and he texted that they didn’t have what I sent him there for. I didn’t believe him, so he flipped his phone and had the cashier tell me they didn’t have it. Impressive move.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) April 10, 2026
a customer told me they dont know how i survive work with this music and it's my playlist pic.twitter.com/mbjJZXL5Vg
— jasmin🫀 (@jasbarre) April 10, 2026
My coworker said I dress like I caught a lizard and I'm waiting for a chance to show it to everyone pic.twitter.com/XU8zNnTm44
— Jon Bird (@2002tacomasr5) April 9, 2026
Doctor: Alcohol is killing you slowly.
— Roro ☃ (@RoRoFli) April 11, 2026
Patient: That's ok, I am not in a hurry.
Doctor: pic.twitter.com/eRmDZy8VxC
good morning, i no longer have a fan.
— theduchessofnursing (@duchessofnsg) April 11, 2026
thank you for your attention to this matter. https://t.co/ZAw9Z5yvVy
