9 am: i can’t wait till bedtime
— Yashaswi More (@itsyashi24) October 5, 2026
10 pm: i’ve always wanted to write my own operating system
Me realizing mid cooking that I wasn’t even that hungry to be doing all of this bs pic.twitter.com/EWvX2bPsKs
— Ada🌸 (@Starrgirl_Ada) October 6, 2026
me calling someone back and hoping they don't answer so i can use it as evidence that I tried pic.twitter.com/WGfIEh3kj3
— victoria (@wuraa_olaaa) October 6, 2026
barista at my favorite coffee shop said “you’re our last customer” when handing me my drink, and when i replied “for the day?” he said “no, ever” before following me out and posting a permanently closed sign on the window pic.twitter.com/VRR4uPDFSD
— DIONE (@blueliasd) September 30, 2026
I need a scientist to explain to me why this tiny paw has the same weight as a car pic.twitter.com/Vk4sPPpSlb
— Wholesome Side of 𝕏 (@itsme_urstruly) October 4, 2026
I SAID YES!!!!!! 💍🥂🥳🎉 I asked myself if I wanted to grab an iced coffee and browse the bookstore.
— Nadine Antoinette 🖤📚 (@Lilblack_heart) October 7, 2026
Okay so do NOT tell your two year old that there is a skeleton inside of them
— melody (@mesopissed) September 30, 2026
sorry i couldn’t hear you over my internal monologue
— sammi. (@fxckjijjiforfun) October 5, 2026
They were gonna eat you https://t.co/tRhDxOQXEZ
— bmo 🎃 (@BeeBmochu) October 5, 2026
It’s time to pass generational wealth to your children!
— Tiffany Fong (@TiffanyFong) October 7, 2026
Boomers: pic.twitter.com/2xyZpY9RcI
