her: i'm crazy

him: i like crazy

4 months later:
him: this girl really crazy

— miia (@miiagarro) July 20, 2026

Everything is terrible but my neighbor has a big cat named Maximus and just named his new tiny cat Minimus.

— kiesha (@kiesha9i) July 20, 2026

There's literally a children's board game whose whole premise is showing how free market capitalism ends with one person owning everything while everyone else goes bankrupt.

— 𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 (@AbakpaJob) July 21, 2026

Ancient Greece literally had an androgynous god that was a god of intersex and androgyny but conservatives will still try to convince you that gender identity is a modern day invention caused by the woke mind virus. https://t.co/4Khb7Vn8Cc

— 𝓔𝓶 ♡ (@emkenobi) July 22, 2026

Thank you for your service Rihanna https://t.co/7XDmeQ5lkz

— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) July 20, 2026

Fair play to the ref, good game. Ignored Argentina’s 1 billion pesos bribe when he found out it was worth £6.25

— Billy (@_billyreid) July 19, 2026

Tried to nap through flight but it got delayed and I woke up during takeoff pic.twitter.com/U9Bf9YK8oy

— red (@ororomunroesbf) July 17, 2026

IF YOU UNPLUG THE WIFI BOX FOR 1 SEC THE WHOLE HOUSE ACT LIKE THEY BOUT 2 DIE YOU'LL SEE PPL COME OUT ROOMS YOU ANIT NVR SEEN BEFORE

— 🎮 (@foreeeeeal) July 22, 2026

She keeps rubbing herself against the chair or sofa until she builds up a static charge and then runs over and shocks me.
Why does she understand static electricity??? How does she know to use it for evil??? pic.twitter.com/Ldz8RvW5DW

— Athena (@Minifarmthena) July 20, 2026

straight man: why is elliot page so ugly and hunter schafer so hot pic.twitter.com/gYXqwiDFdU

— hotdogs water (@pikwimin_) July 20, 2026