My toddler: Are you old yet?
— orca milf (@loremachina) February 5, 2026
Me: I don’t think I’m old, I’m only 28.
Toddler: So you’re old.
rude as fuck at 7 am
Told my 8yo we used to just drink from the water fountains at school, and he straight up asked me if it was because water bottles hadn't been invented yet
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 29, 2026
J'étais outrée d'entendre mon fils dire 'putain' et je me demandais où il avait pu apprendre ça.
— Echo Jinx (@EchoJinx) January 30, 2026
Puis je me suis entendue ce matin dans la voiture :
"MAIS VAS-Y ROULE AU MILIEU PUTAIN" pic.twitter.com/FZ4bUyavAh
I don't want to alarm anyone, but according to my toddler, there is a burglar who broke in, not to steal anything, but to pee in his bed. It definitely wasn't him. Be safe out there everyone.
— Sassy H✡︎bbit 🦋 (@sassyhobbit) February 1, 2026
When my child wants to communicate with me, she writes her message on a paper airplane and aims it at my head. pic.twitter.com/tFHtwAzYCO
— Jonathan Fine (@jonathanbfine) February 3, 2026
HR at my work just called me and i thought i was in trouble for something but they just let me know my 11-year-old sister has been commenting on their instagram every day telling them to increase my salary😭😭😂.
— staxxx🦅 (@papiwontmiss) February 2, 2026
just had my first “mom i frew up” except she’s too young to say that so she just softly told me “hey”
— soggy broccoli (@soggybrocoli) February 5, 2026
J’ai une élève passionnée d’histoire dans mon établissement, j’ai appris hier qu’elle était médiéviste et quand j’lui ai demandé pourquoi, elle a répondu « C’est la télé-réalité de l’époque, tout le monde couche avec tout le temps et se trompe » et ça m’a presque convaincu
— WikiFag (@Wikif4g) February 4, 2026
Avoir un enfant de 3 ans en pleine période du "pourquoi" nous fait réaliser à quel point on ne sait rien 😶 pic.twitter.com/nZZNdob66W
— Cece 🐾❄️ (@Choubichon) February 3, 2026
This little girl i'm babysitting just asked me if i have a boyfriend and i said not anymore and she said “boyfriends are a waste of time” and then she turns to her brother and tells him “you're gonna be a waste of time”.
— staxxx🦅 (@papiwontmiss) February 2, 2026
