Shooting my husband for being unable to open a jar, like a lamed racehorse
— 🔎Al🔍 (@SweatieAngle) April 26, 2026
explosion at the health potion factory, 0 dead, 0 injured
— rune sword (@runesword1) April 24, 2026
Doctor: Why did you take your antibiotic at 6AM. when I told you 10AM?
— Roro ☃ (@RoRoFli) April 24, 2026
Me : I wanted to surprise the bacteria
Doctor: pic.twitter.com/DW4LmFMy7j
"YoU aReN't AlWaYs GoNnA hAvE a CaLcUlAtOr In YoUr PoCkEt"
— Jum (@JesterJum) April 27, 2026
-Lying ass 90s teachers
The phrase, “Don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.
— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) April 25, 2026
confession: after being vegan for two years i am just now learning that pesto has parmesan in it
— just matt (@questionableway) April 25, 2026
Smelling weed outside is like hearing your name… I gotta locate the source 😭
— 𝐈𝐯𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧✰ (@stit57881) April 24, 2026
are you fucking kidding me pic.twitter.com/qyTli6599Z
— i like food (@messedupfoods) April 24, 2026
que deux mecs se battent pour moi voilà #dslhttps://t.co/psn1B5hMHH
— s (@maozedingue) April 29, 2026
Qu'une meuf me jette son verre à la figure en terrasse et qu'elle parte furieuse parce que je lui ai avoué mon infidélité https://t.co/7jfg71TOx6
— WWW.Nika.fr (@WWW_NIKA_FR) April 29, 2026
