searching frantically for my phone in the dark at 4:30am. calling it didn't yield any noise. eventually I realized I must leave for my flight without it, and picked up my cat to say goodbye. the phone was under the cat and he's fat enough to muffle the sound
— Adriana Porter Felt (@__apf__) April 24, 2026
I do not have a cat. I’ve never had a cat, and yet this cat came by randomly (no idea where from) and came into my house. Do I now have a cat? Is that how it works? pic.twitter.com/nTT6wSgNMQ
— Sara Mary ⭐❤️ (@saniyafatma1278) April 25, 2026
does my dog think my foot is like an extra hand when im petting him with it or does he think its like insanely disrespectful
— feefee (@fawnpilled__) April 25, 2026
bro why is my cat trying to gaslight me into thinking he hasn't eaten
— dior ✞ (@deeore5) April 25, 2026
i understand why cats just sit and stare at nothing
— ٌ (@belongstogreen) April 26, 2026
My 77-year-old mother just informed me that she is going to her first "sex party" and doesn't know what to bring.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) April 25, 2026
After some awkward questions, I said, "Gender reveal. You're going to a gender reveal."
Just unzipped this ngga pants & the condom was already on ??????
— yasmine (@imfynerthanfyne) April 23, 2026
Told a guy one time "I hope your daughter date someone like you" And he was pissed. He was PISSED!
— katyakay (@katyakayy) April 23, 2026
my husband better cry at our wedding or his side of the family is not eating
— miia (@miiagarro) April 24, 2026
fun fact:
— goma (@soigomaa) April 26, 2026
all Minions are male bc the creator of minions stated he "couldnt imagine female characters being so stupid".
