i understand why cats just sit and stare at nothing
— ٌ (@belongstogreen) April 26, 2026
My 77-year-old mother just informed me that she is going to her first "sex party" and doesn't know what to bring.
— mariana Z (@mariana057) April 25, 2026
After some awkward questions, I said, "Gender reveal. You're going to a gender reveal."
Just unzipped this ngga pants & the condom was already on ??????
— yasmine (@imfynerthanfyne) April 23, 2026
Told a guy one time "I hope your daughter date someone like you" And he was pissed. He was PISSED!
— katyakay (@katyakayy) April 23, 2026
my husband better cry at our wedding or his side of the family is not eating
— miia (@miiagarro) April 24, 2026
fun fact:
— goma (@soigomaa) April 26, 2026
all Minions are male bc the creator of minions stated he "couldnt imagine female characters being so stupid".
Shooting my husband for being unable to open a jar, like a lamed racehorse
— 🔎Al🔍 (@SweatieAngle) April 26, 2026
explosion at the health potion factory, 0 dead, 0 injured
— rune sword (@runesword1) April 24, 2026
Doctor: Why did you take your antibiotic at 6AM. when I told you 10AM?
— Roro ☃ (@RoRoFli) April 24, 2026
Me : I wanted to surprise the bacteria
Doctor: pic.twitter.com/DW4LmFMy7j
"YoU aReN't AlWaYs GoNnA hAvE a CaLcUlAtOr In YoUr PoCkEt"
— Jum (@JesterJum) April 27, 2026
-Lying ass 90s teachers
