Sending that risky text in the morning to reduce my screentime for the day>>>>>>>>
— Rene🧚🫧 (@sheisafairyyy) April 26, 2026
Fun fact: the “correct” way to pronounce someone’s name is however the fuck they told you to pronounce it.
— Kay🩷💜💙 (@agiftfromhildy) April 30, 2026
I once shared a cab with a stranger who kept checking the time nervously.
— katyakay (@katyakayy) April 25, 2026
Right before I got off, he said, “If anyone asks, you never saw me.”
Two hours later, his face was on the news.
I just saw a lady at the gym on the exercise bike wearing a helmet so I put on a life jacket & got on the rowing machine next to her…
— Miss Ally (@MissAlly_01) April 26, 2026
Went to subway just now and asked for honey mustard and the guy was like “is this enough” and i said “yeah perfect” and he said “nothings perfect”. ok
— powerful wizerd (@powerfulwizerd) May 4, 2026
Toxic came on at the club last night and a 24 year old said they never heard that song before pic.twitter.com/SC2tiI8uae
— Asscela Express 🚅 (@biz_socks) May 2, 2026
Accidentally ate soap at this wedding thinking it was a cookie pic.twitter.com/zMjbaqiDCC
— Anto (@plantonio_) May 2, 2026
ain’t nothing more awkward than someone showing you a video and it's not funny😭
— Softboy (@softboywin) April 26, 2026
Can’t believe when I was a teenager I actually paid for ringtones, I’d set fire to my phone if it made a noise now
— Cara Lisette (@CaraLisette) May 6, 2026
everyone thinks that their cat is the cutest cat in the world and you’re actually all correct.
— 𝓲𝓬𝓮 (@be_like_ice) May 2, 2026
