My son asked if I could pack the same snack in his lunch again and I said, "Oh, wow! So you liked it???" He replied, "No, I hated it, that's why I want it again." It was quiet in the car for a second, then he added, "I'm working on my scarcasm." 🤣🤣

— Kia 🧸ྀི (@xevekiah) January 21, 2026

My kid wanted to play truth or dare, so I dared him to clean the living room and then for my turn he asked if I'd ever eaten chicken in public

— meghan (@deloisivete) January 22, 2026

babysitting and the 4 year old asked me why I'm getting married. told her bc i'm in love and I'm gonna make cute babies like her. she straight up looked at my face and said "don't ever bring your gross babies into my nice house." 😭😭

— 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙠𝙚 (@Arealmfngl) January 23, 2026

My 8 year old son is heavy into Greek mythology. We were talking about how zeus has all these kids with different moms who he's not married to. I asked him why he thought Zeus did that and he said “I guess he just really liked being a dad.”

— Alex Yablon (@AlexYablon) January 19, 2026

Ma fille (3 ans) joue à Ni oui ni non avec son grand frère (7 ans):
– Est-ce que tu as pris ton goûter Wéli?
– Peut-être.
J’ai éclaté de rire parce que je ne savais pas du tout qu’elle comprendrait et appliquerait la consigne. 😂

— Ashley Eyoum 🤎 (@shloutweets) January 21, 2026

I know there’s a lot going on right now but why the hell didn’t anyone tell me Trump sharted on live TV so loud you can hear it and the aides had to rush all the press out the room pic.twitter.com/NHTdOyDoRN

— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) February 2, 2026