guy who knew he was being looked for and yet remained silent and nonchalant in the laundry room for half an hour pic.twitter.com/hW5dbp5Fg3
— 🌈🍀walkup kitties (@walkupkitties) March 21, 2026
There’s a couple breaking up so loudly on the sidewalk in front of my house! He said WHO ARE YOU GONNA TAKE TO YOUR SISTER’S WEDDING NEXT WEEKEND? She said MOZZARELLA STICKS! Which is a valid and devastating blow.
— sugamummy 🧚🏽♀️ (@ceraliza) March 21, 2026
My mom looked on our ring camera and saw someone taking a package off our porch. She posted a screenshot onto the neighborhood board talking about some “porch pirates in the neighborhood today”
— mop- sakuracon 🔜 (@catboymegumi) March 20, 2026
It a screenshot of me. Taking a package off my own porch.
most unnecessary arrow https://t.co/KBVoxotTRM
— Skyler Higley (@skyler_higley) March 21, 2026
— Professor Pingosaurus (@Pingosaurus) March 23, 2026
If the son isn't named Michael C. Jordan, I'm going to be very disappointed. https://t.co/y91VijwFiS
— 𝓟𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓼𝓮 🏂 (@tufpraise) March 21, 2026
trying to find the balance between becoming more politically informed and not killing myself
— TK🍉| commissions closed (@CrazySadAzn) March 20, 2026
There’s like maybe a maximum of 8 jobs where I understand what the job is. Shopkeeper. Farmer. Teacher of some kind. Priest. Novelist. Journalist. Private detective. Chef. That’s it. What is a data engineer. I don’t know.
— Susannah Black Roberts (@suzania) March 22, 2026
As someone who eats yogurt everyday, but has no interest in living a long life, I’m lowkey pissed https://t.co/AS6AilRCCy
— popular loner🚶🏼♀️🤷♀️ (@milkyy_tweets) March 20, 2026
last night my boyfriend got drunk and told me if i tried to kiss him he would call his "woman" and i kissed him so he called my phone just to tell me that i tried to kiss him
— 6ɪx✦ (@ok6ixx) March 22, 2026
