If the son isn't named Michael C. Jordan, I'm going to be very disappointed. https://t.co/y91VijwFiS
— 𝓟𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓼𝓮 🏂 (@tufpraise) March 21, 2026
most unnecessary arrow https://t.co/KBVoxotTRM
— Skyler Higley (@skyler_higley) March 21, 2026
My mom looked on our ring camera and saw someone taking a package off our porch. She posted a screenshot onto the neighborhood board talking about some “porch pirates in the neighborhood today”
— mop- sakuracon 🔜 (@catboymegumi) March 20, 2026
It a screenshot of me. Taking a package off my own porch.
I really hate flying insects. You can fly for free. Fly to a vacation on an island. You could even go to any destination you want at anytime, but here you are in my face.
— 𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 (@OrevaZSN) March 22, 2026
My 6 year old is on a break. I’m working. My husband takes him bowling.
— Sophia ❣️ (@KeruboSk) March 21, 2026
Texts me from the counter: “what size shoe does he wear?”
Sir. The child is standing next to you. Wearing shoes. With a size. On them.
guy who knew he was being looked for and yet remained silent and nonchalant in the laundry room for half an hour pic.twitter.com/hW5dbp5Fg3
— 🌈🍀walkup kitties (@walkupkitties) March 21, 2026
im constantly covered in cat hair no matter how hard I try but I can't even be mad because look at how adorable this fluffy beast is pic.twitter.com/Uxxy87erpm
— erin alyce (@herooine) March 21, 2026
— Professor Pingosaurus (@Pingosaurus) March 23, 2026
writing a gay sex scene into the third paragraph of my cover letter to see if they actually read it
— dj pauly d (@smellagillis) March 20, 2026
There’s a couple breaking up so loudly on the sidewalk in front of my house! He said WHO ARE YOU GONNA TAKE TO YOUR SISTER’S WEDDING NEXT WEEKEND? She said MOZZARELLA STICKS! Which is a valid and devastating blow.
— sugamummy 🧚🏽♀️ (@ceraliza) March 21, 2026
