The best tweets of April 2015
Alright, here we go for a batch of funny and/or depressing tweets depending on your mood.
Drinks for thought
"Tea?" – Translation: Let's make this day momentarily perfect
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) April 22, 2015
Some tweets are the proof that we live in a sick sad world
> Unsubscribe from LinkedIn
> Delete email account
> Sell house, live in woods
> Find bottle in river
> Has note inside
> It's from LinkedIn
— Daryl Ginn (@darylginn) April 21, 2015
I'm actually glad dinosaurs are extinct because you know if they were alive today some weirdo would be trying to fuck 'em.
— pony starwars (@tigersgoroooar) April 10, 2015
My morning routine is just me trying to figure out how I can stay in bed longer.
— elizabeth williams (@Elizasoul80) March 26, 2015
I'm feeling down.
— seasonally affected server (@sadserver) April 25, 2015
Me: I'm definitely over him
— moody monday (@mdob11) April 19, 2015
Fortunately, here are some tweets full of wisdom.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
— 🇮🇳 Ğяєєи мσик (@iGreenMonk) April 23, 2015
A blowjob is a woman's way of never having to say sorry.
— DeeDastardly (@mydmac) April 13, 2015
I guess those who are not interested in video games can skip this part
Telltale Games to make Marvel games. The first game will be based on Spider-Man, because they like to make games filled with bugs
— Ex-CEO Kaz Hirai (@KazHiraiCEO) April 24, 2015
— We See In Pixels (@WeSeeInPixels) April 9, 2015
Asked my friend's six year-old to name as many Super Smash Bros. Wii U characters as he could… pic.twitter.com/ftgFzdA1H8
— casey malone, card boy (@CaseyMalone) April 2, 2015
— 8-bitfiction (@8bitfiction) April 23, 2015
The face of the new Joker was unveiled. Mixed reactions ensued.
— Farroki 🦏 (@RyanFarroki) April 25, 2015
Boy, if you didn't like Jared Leto's take in the Joker, you're going to hate the new Harley Quinn… pic.twitter.com/7q84jojkA5
— Stone™ Chin (@GreatWallofChin) April 25, 2015
How to live in today’s world.
ME: I have to warn you, I'm the jealous type
WAITER: What would you folks like?
HER: I'll have the s-
ME: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?!?
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) March 31, 2015
"Black people have to do better in order to be treated better" I guess "do better" means playing dead at this point. pic.twitter.com/6QHtCoLvEj
— fuck r kelly (@race_jones) April 9, 2015
— Feministing (@feministing) April 1, 2015
MANAGER: Why do you think you'd be a good waiter
ME: *waits 45 minutes before answering*
MANAGER: *whispers to asst. manager* Damn he's good
— Brandon the Cow (@Brampersandon_) March 29, 2015
And then, a few tweets more before saying goodbye…
Our daughter modified her Ariel toy into, quote, "Lex Luthor disguised as a mermaid to distract Superman." pic.twitter.com/DTcb0cmAh3
— Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) April 16, 2015
The tetragrammaton is one of the names of the God of the Israelites in the Torah. It is commonly transliterated into Latin letters as YOLO.
— Chris Owens (@LordScavamungus) April 21, 2015